Wine Jokes And Humor

Now it’s time to pour some wine and smile a little. Many of these wine jokes and quips are available on posters, magnets, and shirts. I haven’t scratched the surface here so check them out for more laughs and maybe something for your wall or fridge or back. Here we go…

• Mae West once said she likes two kinds of men - foreign and domestic. Well, I like two kinds of wine - red and white.
• Forgive me for I have zinned.
• I like to cook with wine. Sometimes I even put in the food.
• Wine drinkers make grape lovers.
• Wine is like opera. You can enjoy it even if you do not understand it.
• Dr. Freud would say that pinot noir lovers suffer from pinot envy.
• Women’s T-Shirt: Nice Rack
• Women’s T-Shirt: Kiss My Glass
• Women’s T-Shirt: Pick me, Squeeze me, Make me wine
• Doormat: “We only serve the finest vintage wines. Did you bring any?”
• In NYC, they hail taxis. In Napa, they hail cabs.
• How Merlot can you go?
• Did Marilyn drink Merlot?
• Don’t drink and drive - you may spill your wine.
• Money may not buy happiness but it will buy wine.
• To paraphrase Mae West again: “Is that a corkscrew in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?”
• A pickup line for a wine bar: “Hi! Would like to corkscrew?”
• A cork retriever is not a dog from Ireland
• I like long legs and not just on a wine glass.
• Wine improves with age. The older I get, the more I like it.
• What did the grape say when he was squeezed? Nothing. He just wined.
• Did you hear about the new blend of pinot blanc, pinot noir, and pinot grigio that acts as a diuretic? It’s called pinot more. I heard that through the grapevine.
• Men are like a fine wine. They start out as grapes. It's our job to stomp them, and then keep them in the dark until they mature. And hopefully they'll turn out to be something we would like to have dinner with.

Hope you had some fun.

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